I don’t wanna fall to pieces

May 14, 2008 by imemoir

I looked away
then I look back at you,
You try to say
the things that you can’t undo,
If I had my way
I’d never get over you,
Today’s the day
I pray that we make it through.

Make it through the fall,
Make it through it all.

And I don’t wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don’t wanna talk about it
And I don’t want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don’t wanna talk about it
‘Cause I’m in love with you.

You’re the only one
I’d be with till the end.
When I come undone
you bring me back again.
Back under the stars,
Back into your arms.

And I don’t wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don’t wanna talk about it
And I don’t want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don’t wanna talk about it
‘Cause I’m in love with you.

Wanna know who you are,
Wanna know where to start,
I wanna know what this means.

Wanna know how you feel,
Wanna know what is real.
I wanna know everything Everything!

I don’t wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don’t wanna talk about it
And I don’t want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don’t wanna talk about it.

And I don’t wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don’t wanna talk about it
And I don’t want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you.
and I don’t wanna talk about it
‘Cause I’m in love with you.
I’m in love with you,
‘Cause I’m in love with you.
I’m in love with you,
I’m in love with you.

-Avril Lavigne

Controllers and Dummies

April 22, 2008 by imemoir

Once a mother took her small daughter to a shop . The next day her only daughter is going to celebrate her birthday and she decided to buy her things which will make her happy on that day . First she bought her a cute soft snowy teddy bear as a birthday gift . The mother used to yearn and even persisted her parents to buy for her when she was a kid . But their parents being so poor , she was denied that lovely thing . Now that she is earning and can buy anything for her sweet little daughter , she was proud of herself . Next she went and bought a white frock with lots of frills as the birthday dress..After all she just envied the neighborhood kid who had a similar thing when she was small.Surely she wanted her daughter to be proud about her dress on that day.
Birthday came and all the party got over ,she asked her daughter whether she was happy about the gift and the dress.The daughter said she would have liked a remote controllable toy than a dumb teddy bear .and said it was boring..And about the dress ,she felt she looked so old-fashioned and she would have loved if it is some short skirt which gives her a rock singer look.Ultimately the mom just satisfied her own wishes and not the daughter’s and she failed to make her happy on that day.I read this story in a sunday annexure.I’ve narrated this story lots of times to my friends and family in many situations.

Got the point ?? Parents being blind about what their children want and trying to control their lives..I don’t know about other countries..In India ,most of the people live in a cycle..When they are young , they are controlled by their parents and it continues even in life’s most important decisions like studies ,career and marriage . And these people grow up and do nothing other than controlling their offspring . Result is none live their own lives ,they live others..and they never going to realize it too.They think they are doing good for their children.I say Good or Bad let them find it ,win or lose ..let them play..This reminds me a scene in a movie Bommarillu / Santhosh Subramanian in which the dad helps his son in playing carom telling him every step and every move ending up making him win but not playing or enjoying the game.The most cruel thing one can do to the loved ones is controlling their lives and I would call it as a biggest steal .In India ,husbands do for wives ,parents do for children and it goes on.
While they are young ,let them live their lives and of course you can support them like paying their mobile bills,sponsoring the All-India tour,buying them cool bikes and something like that..Fixing up a proxy to filter porn sites will not count though.

Another group of people who gets on my nerves are the DUMMIES..Dummies are people who nod their head for whatever they are given and they think they are the divine souls around and their purpose of life is to satisfy others and complete surrender is their strength and never ever resisted things in their life .They just don’t have any opinion of themselves and worse dummies parents being proud about their sons nodding to whatever they propose . Movies come with this kind of dialog “Na parthu oru kaludhai kaluthula kata sona kooda avan katuvan” (my son wil marry even a donkey if I recommend it), beaming with pride ..I hardly find anything to be proud of, there..Giving birth and bringing up some dumbo who cant think ,say,act for himself and don’t have any desires of his own and submitting weakly to external forces…Funny part is this dumbness gives them a high score for matrimonial purposes as very obedient and giving respect to elders words.….I just cant think of marrying a guy who marries me just because his parents find me good .Wish they realize it is such a big turn-off for any girl with a back-bone.And dummies are going to be the major population to carry forward the theory of control cycle which I’ve said above..I can see a brighter future..

Are you a dummy??DROP DEAD HERE..You are creating lots of problems to families with rebels or near-rebels.

Lost contact

April 22, 2008 by imemoir

Going blind I search for you.
My bare hands yearns to unearth you.
Swearing in heart with silent prayers.
solacing myself , not to have despairs.
I’ll never lose you again,
If I found you ,thats a gain.

Now that I found you ,my dear contact !
Come and embrace my eyes without collision
To give me the perfect vision.

A shy guy and a shameless girl

April 8, 2008 by imemoir


Today is little gloomy with lots of thoughts about what is this life all about .. ok Its more or less the Monday-Morning-Syndrome , except that its a Tuesday and I am back to office from my 5 days vacation.
Evening I met C in cafeteria . She is oddly alone and so joined us . V is still in his hometown and that explains her lonely visit to cafeteria . First I thought C and V were just good friends . Going shopping together , eating together , fighting over a samosa in cafeteria and sharing icecreams etc . I like C for her non-stop non sensing talks . I always make sure she is there before joining the dance group parties . She can be a good company who can talk ,talk endlessly and sing if she gets bored with talking and I really feel comforatable with her among everyone else and also in turn I give her company for innocence when the gang crack some jokes which can make one cringe and cover the face, if you understand it( I just pretend the innocence though.There is no more fun than pretending that you dont understand the joke , throw innocent questions and put the crowd in splits) . Today, to fill up the tea break with her,I started narrating how I was unaware about their relationship in the beginning.
A month back our dance group went for bowling . On the way I was inquiring about who are all coming.Didn’t I just tell that I want C to come? and they confirmed that C is coming and added that V is also coming . A new girl in the gang ( N’s sister) said “Isn’t redundant ? If C comes , obviously V come . “I was little surprised how she knows the link-ups happening in our dance group . Our dance group is known for link-ups . Since the girl boy ratio is very less , we have done some gay pairing too . For eg. I usually get linked up with my dance partner and C . Thats because Sometimes when C asks for a dance , I can’t refuse :) . Okay back to the story.
Then for the hunger of my camera mobile , I took some photographs of them in pair and they posed like real couples . I controlled all my wicked minds not to tease their good friendship . They were so pleased about my photographic skills ( ok I made this up) and asked me to send the pics without fail .
On the way to dinner , they again started linking me and C and we were holding hands together and walking . This time V came to C’s rescue “I am quite sure that C is straight” . I questioned him “How sure you are about it ? ” like a possessive lover. and he replied “I am sure enough” . and the most excited your’s truly screamed to everyone that ” Hey people..V says that he is sure about C being straight . I just don’t know what could it mean” .To my dismay none reacted.I didn’t understand it then.
In the Dinner table ,V and me sat on both sides of C . C was trying to pull legs of H ,how he remembered the drink I ordered and not C’s .The reply came immediately. ” Its simple .She is still single” .Now again I got really confused and still I believed that C and V are just linked up and not real pairs . I asked C with lots of hopes that if she had anything to confess ,I was always there to listen to her ;) .She replied with lots of mischiefs in her eyes ” Ask V and he’ll confess “. I Couldn’t believe my luck ,I again screamed to the gang that V and C have some confessions to share with us.
Finally ,not able to tolerate my excitement someone broke that its last week news that V proposed C kneeling with rose in his hands in the street and they showed me that photograph.sigh…I am always the last one to get updated about these kind of affairs.

Today after I narrating all those incidents about my blindness to their real affair ,she asked me “Why couldn’t you see that in between us ? Wasn’t there something running between us since December ? “.
I replied ” I always think that you are best buddies and never thought you are settled “.
She refused that they are not yet settled.She doesn’t know my terminologies and I corrected it as ” ok..Committed “. She again rethought about it ” You cant say that too. hmmmm..may be we are just going around” and on second thoughts she said “err…Does that sound bad ? ” This time I helped her putting the relationship in words ” Can we take it as more-than-friends? “

C: I cant even call him as best friend because someone else is there in that position.

Me: ok coming to that point ,I never see the fire or chemistry between you guys . (this is my problem ,u know,always looking for this invisible, nearly-non-existent things )
Seeing her disappointment in the eyes , I convinced her that  ” Like you are always together in a way that can be easily mistaken as just-friends ” .

C: hmm..yea…you know V doesn’t like public display of affection..Whenever I try to be little close ,he frowns and tell that we are not adolescents..What to do ? HE is a shy guy and I am a shameless girl..

I just love this pair.I am happy for them that I see lots of love between them and I am sure its something beyond beauty or physical attraction .

Notes:
1. That pic was shot by me in one of the famous parks in Bangalore using Pangali’s 12X zoom camera while practicing for my ambition of becoming a ummm gossip columnist .Wish me good luck ;)

2. I can hear Roopa cursing me for repeating the story for the 3rd time to her .

Jollification

April 1, 2008 by imemoir

:D This is the Dictionary.com word of the day

which means Merrymaking ,  festivity , revelry . ( which is somewhat related to the Tamilians usage of  THE word )  . We have a habit of inventing words  such as sightifying , jollyfication , kadalaing etc. ,  when we go lack for the words which can really do justice for such activities .
I got a little surprise first about how this word got into the dictionary .

8 facts from a liar

March 19, 2008 by imemoir

Disclaimer : Facts will be boring.And Facts about me will make you cry for a break.Being asked to do the same at the end will be suicidal.

Tagged by fellow blogger ,a new friend to add to the giggles ..Raz

1. If flirting is birth right of Libras ahem ahem ,then dreaming is Gemini’s .I dream a lot.Even before a project starts,I would start working ,excelling,innovating new things that I get recognized at the CEO level,rewarded the best employee award and in the Front pages of newspaper..and the entire world in complete awe of me..ok ok ..You got what I mean ..right?

susie dreaming

2.I never had a boy friend in spite of my million crushes and Zillion guys with whom I got linked with .(God Promise)

3.My style of listening music is listening to the same song for a day,a week ,or even a month.Then I’ll shift to some other song and again in repeat mode.One might even roll their eyes when they know some of my favorite songs

4.I do multiple things in parallel.Doing a single task at a time is boring for me.

5. Nothing has influenced me as much as Calvin & Hobbes did.

6. I am a narcissist. Though sometimes I get swallowed up by self-pity,most of the times I really think “Gosh !!I am awesome”.

7. I love gossips.During the times when I didn’t find any interesting gossip ,I have even created one on my name/my fellow gossip-lovers and spread it and tracked the path of it. lol (Inline message would be “Dont mess up with me”)

8. Finally, I am going to hide the most interesting fact of my life.Its some mystery that happened in my past.I am going to carry that until my grave.I am not going to share that with anyone, even if you beg.You will never know about it.muhahahaha
Some people I’d love to know will be

Rags,Roopa,Sravan,Kamini,Nasreen,VP aka FJ,Balaji,Murugs.

Ofcourse if they stumbled across here .Better don’t leave your fingerprints if you don’t want to do it :D

Those Nostalgic Dormitory days

March 5, 2008 by imemoir

I watched this video of two chinese boys.The video is much hilarious.But the other thing one should notice is the guy who is siting in the other side and didn’t even care about what what was happening at his back.That video was taken in a dormitory.This reminded my hostel days where we did all those freaky stuff and our roommates who cared a damn about it because they get used to it. The pandu siva was able to study and napping Vidhu managed to sleep amidst of the screams when we played the deadly quake 3 game .
My Room was known for laughing,singing,dancing,snacks,not to mention about lending bathroom slippers,hotplates and immersion rods.Voices of me and Umaty used to echo thorough out the block .Bathrooms..we even held antakshri there..One of my embarrassing moments is when I came to know that my song I sang was even audible in the outside road when my classmate passed by .Next day when he asked me “did you sing that “poo maalaye thol serava” song in hostel? ” I was so shocked.and wait he didn’t finish it there.He asked did you sing that because I was passing by ? I just wished the earth to swallow me then.
Since the day we saw that “nerupu koothadikudhu song” we had a weird desire to dance around a bottle sometime in the night ,that too in the college campus .How we managed to do that still fresh in my mind.In the dark, in front of the alumni building by 11 pm around a kinley bottle,some 10 hyper girls were dancing putting the same step for that song.
The most unforgettable song we composed for sweet heart Shaky for breaking the record of breaking more number of boys’ heart by tying rakhi to her dream boy.we all sung together and recorded it.and I remember shouting some hate slogans against her in between with all that enthusiasm.I dont know from where I get that energy when it comes to pick on Shaky.
And the old songs dedication to Kams when she comes to hostel after that day’s quota of her kadalai with that boy .”pokiri raja podhumey thaaja” ..lol..We even managed getting on the nerves of the coolest girl then.
Kams is always my coolest partner to do such freaking stuff like posing as ghosts,terrorists for camera.Still she encourages every crazy stuff I attempt and the one who supports me.oooh the dance performances we tried though most of them are flop shows ,were so unforgettable fun .We danced for a bangra song in which we missed every time, when we tried clapping each others hands .Another maddy song in which we were supposed to take the cap in the beginning .Kams managed to take it with style whereas it stuck up with my hair and the song had started already.
The leaking of my first poem which I wrote in my first semester about all the affairs and gossips going on then and the associated secret apology dramas.
The animation of Aishwarya Rai and my photo was quite famous in the hostel.People even visited
our rooms to see that funny stuff.
In some ways we were innocent.When our juniors tried smoking and you-know-what movies,we
locked the room and secretly watched ‘Thulluvadho Illamai’ .

Save Trees .Save animal life

March 3, 2008 by imemoir

baboon2

I shot this poor baboon in Mysore zoo.It was too hot and this guy could find shade only under this.

She is a sucker

February 29, 2008 by imemoir

She gulps down the sweet poison
Ignoring the antidote ,Ha Ha
She is now asking for more.
She is the one who walks towards a mirrage,
With high hopes of water.

I can do nothing
Except laughing at her
Cuz I know for sure
She is a sucker

She glues a pair of wings with wax
Dreaming about reaching the sky,Ha Ha
Secretly wishing to kiss the sun.
She is the one who tries to hug a fire
Thinking about the warmth it could bring

I can do nothing
Except laughing at her
Cuz I know for sure
She is a sucker

Atlast Ever Loving Buddy highlighted

February 26, 2008 by imemoir

I have two kinds of friends in my life..passing clouds and guiding stars..This post is dedicated to one of my guiding stars , the Ever Loving Buddy (ELB) the one who gets punished secretly when he forgets to read my blog and more worse when he doesnt comment there.. I want to share something about him here on the occasion of him getting married soon.

I have to accept that I underestimated him initially.But with 4 yrs of our strong friendship (very strong infact at the rate of its survival over our fights),I now know that he is versatile and more important very modest except that he thinks he is the smartest,most handsome in his office.I was so surprised when he participated in Mr.Company competition , because ELB I know is a very shy guy and an introvert too ..still I remember his trembling hands when he talked to me first and then I was in complete awe when he grabbed the Mr.Company title..

Then the Cubicle decoration I was sure he’d win and he won too..I always loved visiting his cubicle ..waiting for someone to open the door and tag along them because me and ELB were working for different clients then..His cubicle can be easily identified as it is full of stuffed toys and you might mistake that for a day-care centre for kids.I even once tried to loot the stuffed tiger but ELB surprised me giving that as my birthday gift later .

He was one of the few I knew who climbed up the career ladder working hard. The Ever Loving Buddy (ELB) recently was asked to give an article about “semiconductors in daily life” to publish in his office newsletter.It is going to be a big hit.I was the least interested to read an article on Semi-conductors.But this is ELB’s.When I started reading ,it was very interesting,informative and it was in ELB’s typical witty style. Still the document which he wrote about me “just4u.doc”, which I treasure for my life is both humorous and emotional and is his best.

I never thought I would love an article about semi conductors because he wrote it..I never knew an article about semi-conductors can bring me to tears just because he wrote it .It is the happiness to know another talent about him and its also the pride.Snifff<Anyone there…tissue please..> I am sure his article will be the highlight of the newsletter..

Here is the article with all the rights reserved from ELB

It was a beautiful evening. I wanted to give a surprise gift to her - a recently launched mobile phone. She opened it and with excitement said “Do U C what I C?”. I said “Love”. “No Dumbo! It’s an IC QSC7230 in this handset, which has got more functionality in a single chip, It is a 45 nano meter(45nm) processor operating at 600MHz, with built in BlueTooth and FM. (That’s the problem of having a tech-savvy Girl Friend!!). Most of what she said was going out of my head, except for the word “nano” which I (being a car maniac) could easily relate with the low cost car which is to be launched soon. But she understood the big puzzle in my face and started explaining about the significance of semiconductors and IC’s (which I skipped during my academics, as Electronics subject viewed me as an Untouchable!!)

She started her lecture, “Semiconductor technology is an important invention of the past century. You can forget inventions like television, air conditioning, set-top boxes, the computer, the Internet and even your indispensable coffee maker, but not Semiconductors. Especially the transistors, the building block of the processors. Without the transistors, some say our servers would be three stories high, and laptops would be the size of a big wardrobe” (I hope she was referring to her wardrobe!!). “Our televisions would still use vacuum tubes, and our cars could not boast of controlling the engine by a 32 bit processor”.

“Neverthless to say, without the transistor, what would the digital economy look like? Would Microsoft Corp. and Google Inc. have become giants? Would geeks have become cool with their gadgets? Would rich guys be driving BMWs? Probably not!!” (Yeah, she has a point about BMW!!).

Soon after we part, here words were lingering in my mind (no..no..not those usual three words, but about the role of Semiconductors in today’s world).

I paid a visit to my friend’s home. He has got a new model of LCD projector along with a hi-fi home theatre. He asked “Wanna see ‘Die Hard 4.0′?”. I responded pretty quickly with a “yes, please”. As soon as the movie was over, he started “This is a R2-D2 digital audio and video projector. This can project movies at 1024 x 768 XVGA resolution, powered by TI’s DLP technology.” (Oh no! not again). I asked “all because of the Semiconductors?”. He replied, with some thinking in his mind “Hmm..not exactly. Hold on..yeah the core is the in-built IC’s which has given this kind of product. You know what, not only this, there is still more. I heard that D-box has partnered with Blu-ray to offer a chair that moves with the action on the screen, vibrating when cars crash or explosions happen. This is a feature offered by 20th Century Fox, Disney, and Lions Gate on over 700 movies today” (Cooool!!). This time I know by myself - “this kind of excitement is caused by the development in the semiconductor industry”.

Interest and curiosity arose in me. I started gathering information about Semiconductors from the information pool - the internet. And here is what I found:

Sixty years ago the transistor was invented at Bell Labs, by William Shockley, igniting a series of changes and advances that would change the way people listen to their favorite music, communicate with their friends, do their jobs, pay their bills, educate themselves and buy everything from books to used toaster ovens (Thanks man!!)

The transistors were combined to form Integrated circuits. The manufacturing of these devices is very cost effective. The raw material is mere ’sand’ (read it as “Silica”). A metal or insulator is made as a semiconductor by doping it (Hereby we declare, we will not punish the semiconductor on ‘doping’ charges!!). Semiconductor ICs are fabricated in a layering process which includes these key process steps: printing the transistors by photolithography, Desposition of semicondutor material and etching the unwanted areas. These components are finally packaged in ceramic flat packs. And there you are doing multiple functionalities with these tiny tots. All these chips are combined to have what is called as SOC (System-On-Chip). A SOC typically consists of one or more processing units, multiple memories, multiple digital and analogue interfaces. (This is what might have combined the role of a digital camera, MP3 player, video playback, cellular phone, and what not, all in one, in my iphone)

The interesting part here is, the size of the chip depends upon the size of the gate width to form a transistor. The smaller the gate width, the smaller is the size of the chip. In 1965, Gordon Moore of Intel Corp’s said that the gate width will reduce to half every 18 months (Ok, in plain English, for people like me, Mr. Moore says that, “The number of transistors on a chip will double about every two years.”). Forty-two years later, Moore’s Law still holds true (Mr. Moore, you must have been a Nostradamus of this century!!). Recently, Intel has achieved 45nm (nano meter) gate width, resulting in a processor that holds 820 million transistors (here I’ve got the right meaning of “nano”). Phew!!

Lost in my thoughts, I was thinking, “Semiconductor devices inside pacemakers keep our hearts going. Computer chips run inside our cars, cell phones and even tiny, implantable RF (Radio Frequency) devices that help find lost pets. The PC and the Internet have been phenomena, but how usable and ubiquitous would they be without millions of tiny semiconductor devices running inside laptops, desktops and servers?”

Nanotechnology devices are injected into people’s bloodstreams to find and fix diseased cells or organs. Advancement in Semiconductor technology will allow cell phones to shrink down to devices that can easily be woven into the fabric of our clothing. These devices also should enable automatic language translation to be built into telephones so people easily can communicate with each other regardless of what languages they speak.”

So much to know, so little known!!!

After a long tiring day, I was about to enter in my dream world, only then this thought came into my mind …”We all leave footprints in the ‘Silica’, the question is, will we be a big heal, or a great soul.” (read it as “sand”)

Loved it ?share ur comments .